There was a time in my life where I wanted to be perfect for everyone. Perfect in the eyes of my family and friends, perfect in front of my peers, perfect in front of my leadership, perfect with my romantic relationships.
But with that strive for perfection, came the stress of trying to please those around me and the disappointment of not living to their expectations. I constantly walked with the fear of failing those I love and respect and being rejected because of my flaws. That type of fear can cause some serious damage to your mental and emotional health. For a long time I struggled with rejection, guilt, and shame.
It got so bad that at one time, I had to take anti-depression pills just to stay “level”. I soon realized that I can’t live life like this. I mean, who wants to live the rest of their life worrying about what other people think of them? How can I enjoy my life stressing about what PVT Snuffy said or what CPT So-and-So wrote on my EVAL report? It’s not worth it. The approval of others is not worth losing your peace of mind. I finally made the decision that I was going to live my life on my OWN terms and accept ALL of me…flaws and all. Then and only then, can I truly be happy. What will you do to be happy?
I believe there are many of us women, both who serve/ed and those who haven’t that can identify with this particular article. Many of us are blessed enough to learn the lesson of self-acceptance at an early age. Yet others are delayed in learning this lesson. We each are unique and special in just being who we are. We’re also able to live more fulfilled, authentic lives when our objective is just to be a better “me” everyday.
Hi Kenia!
You are absolutely right, a lot of women learn at an early age how to love themselves fully, without defect. It is painful to see my Sisters-in-Arms questioning their worth within the ranks and society, however, there is always a chance to turn things around and look yourself in a more positive light.